Jerry Seinfeld Tour Continues As Does Comedians In Cars

by Noiz 27. April 2015 13:06

Jerry Seinfeld Tour Continues As Does Comedians In Cars

You’ve got to love Jerry Seinfeld.

Even though he’s a huge star, a legendary stand-up comedian, and so wealthy he could hunt humans on a private island, he still manages to find a way to remain relatable.

Here’s why:

He’s down-to-Earth enough to correctly sum up YouTube. 

“We have a giant garbage can called YouTube for user-generated content.” — Jerry Seinfeld

Cue sound effect of riotous standing ovation.

Seinfeld recently made the aforementioned comment during a Q&A session at the Hudson Theater.  He was there promoting the Web site, and Sony-owned property, Crackle.

Someone asked the legend, whose Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee can be seen on Crackle:

“Do you think user-generated content is going to play a big part in this space [Crackle]?”

First of all:

Anyone who uses the term “user-generated content” deserves to be run over by a car driven by comedians getting coffee (unless you use it in an answer to a question that features the phrase “user-generated content”).

Second of all:

Seinfeld isn’t being pretentious, like the person who asked the question about “user-generated content.”  He’s being a visionary.

His premise is “TV is over,” which he announced earlier in the evening, and the content that should populate the internet isn’t the plethora of garbage you find on YouTube but stuff made by professionals. 


As Seinfeld puts it:

“Show business is for talent” (or at least it should be).

Although, I’m sure Seinfeld will agree that cat videos are excluded.


Neither Seinfeld, nor myself, are saying you shouldn’t make your own videos.  All we’re saying is we would rather watch videos made by people who actually know what they’re doing. 

As for those videos made by people who don’t know what they’re doing, I think Jerry speaks for everyone when he says:

“I don’t want to see this crap.”

Returning to Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

In the program’s upcoming sixth season, which begins June 4 on Crackle, Seinfeld reunites with actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus. 

Louis-Dreyfus is the last of the Seinfeld cast to appear on the show.  Jason Alexander and Michael Richards have already made appearances so has Seinfeld co-creator Larry David.

Seinfeld Is Still Influential

The legendary sitcom ended 17 years ago but it’s still having an impact on hip hop.

Rapper extraordinaire and one of Jerry’s buddies, Wale, recently released a studio offering called The Album About Nothing.  It’s the third release in a series of Seinfeld-themed works (the last two being mixtapes). 

Jerry Seinfeld does appear on the album.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t rap.

Like the show that inspired it, Wale’s fourth studio album is a success.  It debuted at number one on the Billboard 200.

On the album’s cover, Wale’s name is incorporated into a Seinfeld-like logo.  Also, all the track titles begin with the definite article “the,” just like all the titles for the 180 episodes of Seinfeld.

Are You Going To See Seinfeld On Tour?

Another great thing about Seinfeld is behind the funny people he puts in cars, the rap albums he cuts, and the iconic television shows he stars in, he’s one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all-time.

The Mount Rushmore of Stand-Up Comedy
Lenny Bruce
George Carlin
Richard Pryor
Jerry Seinfeld

If you’re a fan of his sitcom, or his rap albums, you must see Seinfeld live.  It’s like watching a master at work.  The command he has of his material, as well as his energy, timing, and delivery, is as close to perfection as you can get. 

This spring and summer, Seinfeld is performing a bunch of shows in the Midwest and the East Coast.  Hopefully, he’s performing in your neck of the woods.

For example:

Seinfeld will be in Rockford, Illinois at the Coronado Performing Arts Center on May 15; in Memphis, Tennessee at the Orpheum Theatre on May 29; and Jamestown, New York at the Jamestown Savings Bank Ice Arena on Aug. 1.

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Dancing With The Stars Cast And The One Thing You Need To Know About Their Tour

by Noiz 20. April 2015 13:16

Dancing With The Stars Cast And The One Thing You Need To Know About Their Tour

Dancing with the Stars is:

  1. A popular television show on ABC
  2. A painting by Vincent Van Gogh
  3. Launching a 42-city tour in June

Unless you’re actually Vincent Van Gogh, you obviously answered “A.”

For the past decade, millions of viewers have tuned in to DWTS to see celebrities dance with professional partners.  

Not just dance, but compete. 

These thrown-together dance couples vie for judges’ scores and audiences’ votes.  The pair receiving the lowest combined total is eliminated.  This continues until one couple is left standing.

Important dates:
The show’s 20th season premiered on March 16.  The finale is scheduled to air on May 19, 2015.

So, everyone who doesn’t live under a rock selected “A”.  The correct answer, however, is actually…

…”A” and “C”!

The Dancing with the Stars tour kicks off June 13 in Atlantic City and ends Aug. 11 in Rockford, Illinois. 

All total, the DWTS 2015 tour, dubbed the “Perfect Ten Tour” in honor of the show’s tenth anniversary, will visit 42 cities and perform 43 times (there are two shows scheduled for Las Vegas, one on July 3 and another on July 5).

Here’s the one thing you absolutely need to know about this tour:

The Dancing with the Stars cast is NOT participating. 

In other words:

No celebrities!

Don’t expect Rumer Willis, Willow Shields, Patti LaBelle, Noah Galloway, Chris Soules or any of the other celebrities from season 20 to show up. 

They might.  They could.  They can show up as guest stars.  They can make surprise appearances.  Ultimately though, that’s not what this tour is about.

The upcoming DWTS tour does not feature any of the Dancing with the Stars cast 2015 or celebrities from previous seasons. 

The trek is entirely focused on the professionals who dance with the celebrities.


The live shows will be hosted by Melissa Rycroft.  The 32-year-old Texan, who is not a professional dancer, competed in the 8th season, and won the 15th season, of Dancing with the Stars.  

“Every time I think I’ll never do this again they suck me back in!” explains Rycroft.

She also appeared on the reality shows The Bachelor and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team.

Rycroft is bringing along her husband and two children.  Not as dancers, but as travel companions.

You might be wondering:

Who are the professionals that will be gracing the stages in cities like Saratoga, Hershey, Charlotte, and Boise? 

Witney Carson, Brittany Cherry, Jenna Johnson, Peta Murgatroyd, and Emma Slater are your female dancers.

On the men’s side are Alan Bersten, Artem Chigvintsev, Sasha Farber, and Keo Motsepe.

So, there you go.  That’s it.  That’s the entire roster.  Those are the only dancers you should expect to see.

Don’t Worry:

Everyone’s favorite dancer, Valentin Chmerkovskiy, will be there too!

I was just having fun with you.  How could the DTWS 2015 tour not include Val?  He’s so popular you can almost call this the Valentin Chmerkovskiy tour.

“The opportunity to go out on the road, theater to theater, and have the privilege to perform in front of our fans, getting to meet them and interact with them, is an opportunity I couldn’t pass up,” gushed Chmerkovskiy.

There’s Something Else You Need To Know!

Each live performance will last about 90 minutes.  The dancers will perform popular routines from the show as well as brand new choreography.  These routines will range from slow romantic numbers to up-tempo jive dances. 

Basically, if you like the television show you’ll love the live version.

This is not the first time DWTS has toured.  It’s not even the first time the show has toured this year.  Dancing with the Stars: Live! delighted audiences this past winter.  That outing was a huge success and played to packed houses.

Get Dancing With The Stars Tickets ASAP

Due to the success of their last tour, and the intimacy of the venues on their route, DWTS tickets will go fast.  Get them as soon as can.

For example:

The Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts (Worcester, Massachusetts—June 19) holds just 2,300; the nTelos Wireless Pavilion (Portsmouth, Virginia—June 26) seats 3,500; and the Keller Auditorium (in Portland, Oregon—July 10) has room for a mere 3,000 ticket holders.

Those three venues are typical for the upcoming Dancing with the Stars tour.

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Comics on Tour This Spring And Summer

by Noiz 17. April 2015 12:03

Comics on Tour This Spring And Summer

Spring and summer are lousy for epic concert tours.  The Rolling Stones, U2, Madonna, Eagles, and Van Halen are all touring in 2015.  That’s a lot of great live music, but if you need a break from holding up your lighter and shouting “Freebird” you should check out a comedy show.  During our aforementioned time span, there will be a bunch of very funny people playing the continent’s biggest rooms.

Seeing anyone of the following names is guaranteed to leave you in stitches. 

Daniel Tosh
This is how you announce a tour: 
On your successful and popular television program you blast the New England Patriots—I mean really blast them.  You tear into them without mercy.  Then at the end of your triad you announce a 16-city tour of the northeast corner of the United States.  That takes some guts.  Daniel Tosh’s “The Great Nor’Easter Tour of 2015” kicks off June 9 in Orono, Maine and ends June 27 in Brooklyn, New York.  Brooklyn doesn’t care about Tosh’s anti-Patriots slant but Worcester, Nantucket, and Boston sure do.

Gabriel Iglesias
It should come as no surprise that Gabriel Iglesias is on the road.  After all, he’s always on the road.  What’s unique about some of his upcoming spring dates is their location.  Fluffy is performing in Iceland, Sweden, Netherlands, Belgium, and Norway—it’s not called a “world tour” for nothing.   Sandwiching those European dates are performances in Albuquerque, Orlando, Las Vegas, and Washington, D.C.

Kathy Griffin
The ultimate D-lister is also one of the world’s funniest stand-up comedians.  You can catch her hilarious act this spring and summer in cities like Springfield, Virginia Beach, Washington D.C., Las Vegas, and Billings.  Can you imagine Griffin and her foul mouth performing in Montana?  I can’t.  That should be one wild (and very weird) show. 

Kevin Hart
Is there a bigger comic in the world right now then Kevin Hart? 

Taking time out from his successful music career, Hart is hitting the road this spring and summer for his “What Now Tour.”  His trek began April 9 in San Antonio and ends Aug. 30 in Philadelphia.  In between, the diminutive funny man will visit Orlando, Las Vegas, Boston, Atlanta, Chicago, and Houston.  Hart sold out two shows at Madison Square Garden and became the first comedian EVER to headline a show at an NFL stadium.  That Aug. 30th show in Philadelphia is at Lincoln Financial Field.  That’s the home of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Mike Epps
There’s currently a lot to talk about when it comes to Mike Epps: 

He’s playing Richard Pryor in an upcoming biographical movie.  He’s been cast as Uncle Buck in a new television pilot of the same name.  He’s hosting That’s Racist with Mike Epps, a ten-episode series airing on AOL.  He recently posted a controversial picture on Instagram of a black man about to whip three shirtless white men in a cotton field.  And he criticized Kevin Hart for stealing jokes and caring too much about marketing.

With all that going on we might forget that Mike Epps is also a legendary stand-up comedian.  This spring and summer, Epps is participating in two different comedy tours.  His own, “Mike Epps: The Real Deal Tour,” will visit Bloomington, Grand Prairie, Toledo, Des Moines, and Denver.  He’s also on the marquee of the “Black and Brown Comedy Get Down” tour.  That trek includes sets from Cedric “The Entertainer,” Eddie Griffin, D.L. Hughley, George Lopez, and Charlie Murphy.

Las Vegas
Las Vegas is to comics what New York City is to musicians.  If you plan your trip to Las Vegas just right this spring and/or summer you’ll be able to catch a big time joke teller.  For example, Jeff Dunham and his dummies have a residency show at Planet Hollywood.  Check his Web site for exact dates; he does not perform on Monday or Tuesday.  “Roastmaster General” Jeffery Ross will tickle the audience at the House of Blues on May 15.  Whitney Cummings is booked at The Venetian on May 22 and May 23. 

Other Comics
A bunch of other comics are either winding down tours or their handful of dates are scattered over several months.  For example, Craig Ferguson will be in Las Vegas on May 23 and then half a dozen cities in the Midwest and Ontario, Canada.  Amy Schumer is currently finishing her red hot “Back Door Tour.”  It wraps May 24 in New Orleans.  Jerry Seinfeld has several shows scheduled between May and August.  That includes a May 16 performance at the Fox Theatre in Detroit, Michigan.

Theresa Caputo
Technically, Theresa Caputo isn’t a comedian.  She’s a medium—the “Long Island Medium” to be exact.  In other words, she talks to the dead.  I’ve included her for two reasons.  One, she’s playing relatively small venues.  That means seeing her live will be fairly intimate.  Two, she’s been widely debunked by a number of sources; so, she’s not a very good medium.  This all comes together to create a couple hours of unintentional comedy.  Sitting in the back, with a like-minded friend or two, you can crack wise as Caputo chews the fat with the spirit world.  Hilarious. 

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Van Halen Concerts Suck According To Sammy Hagar

by Noiz 9. April 2015 18:31

Van Halen Concerts Suck According To Sammy Hagar

If you believe Sammy Hagar, every upcoming Van Halen concert will occur after a too-long of a bus ride or a night with a faulty thermostat. 

On July 5, the 2015 Van Halen tour of North America gets underway in Seattle, Washington at the White River Amphitheatre.  Their tour concludes Oct. 2 at the Hollywood Bowl. 

The band has scheduled 39 dates in a route that will have Van Halen crisscrossing the continent.

On July 20, look for Van Halen at Red Rocks. 

On August 7, they’ll be in Toronto for a show at the Molson Canadian Amphitheatre. 

Washington D.C. welcomes the band to Jiffy Lube Live on Aug. 29. 

Van Halen begins their return westward on Aug. 21 with a performance in Austin—it’s their first of three shows in Texas. 

They San Diego on Sept. 30.

In case you’re wondering, this tour, like the last, will feature David Lee Roth on vocals.  For most bands, the lead singer is usually the lone constant, but with Van Halen you never know.

Also on board are the usually subjects of guitarist Eddie Van Halen and drummer Alex Van Halen.  Bass duties will once again fall to Eddie’s son, and Alex’s nephew, Wolfgang.

Van Halen is not touring to support a new studio album but a live one.

The live album dropped March 31 and is called Tokyo Dome Live In Concert.  It was recorded June 21, 2013 at the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan.  The show was part of their 2012-2013 “A Different Kind of Truth Tour.”

It’s Van Halen’s second live album overall and amazingly their first with Roth.

Eddie wanted to do something Van Halen-ish but realized a studio album was out of the question–both his son and Roth were off doing their own things.

He wanted to remix and release some demos but he couldn’t find the original tapes.  They’ve slipped into rock’s irretrievable dustbin.

Eddie thought about doing something with recordings from the band’s “club days,” but the recording quality made such a project problematic.

He finally decided to produce a live record.

Back when musicians walked uphill in the snow, both ways, to the studio, to make a live record you needed a lot of equipment, a lot of manpower, and a lot of set-up time.  Nowadays, you just hook Pro Tools to the console and click record.  Thanks to this digital technology, Van Halen has recorded hundreds of their shows.

While this massive catalog is priceless to Van Halen fans, it’s a giant time-suck for anyone tasked to listen to them all and find the best cuts for an album.

To streamline the process, the band asked Dave to pick one Van Halen concert. 

“Alex, Wolfgang, and I were pretty consistent every night.  For a singer it’s more difficult.  Because if the bus ride is too long, or you slept with the air conditioner on or the heater on and your throat is [messed] up, [it can change one’s voice].” — Eddie Van Halen

Dave suggested the band use their Tokyo Dome show.  His decision was supported by the fact that there was no opening act that night and the band played longer than usual—nearly two hours.

Bob Clearmountain mixed the album and it contains 25 tracks.

The Las Vegas Review Journal put flame to fuse when they asked former Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar what he thought of the live album:

“They’ve got some pretty rough vocals… Standing back, I’m just going, ‘What the (expletive) are these guys thinking?’”

That’s some caustic criticism especially considering Roth selected the recording thus suggesting that he picked a night when he sounded the best.

“I’m trying to tread lightly on the whole thing.  Every time they do something, I’m like, ‘Oh my god, can these guys do anything worse to their reputation and to the level of the music of the band?’”

That’s damning criticism but perhaps Hagar’s haranguing is nothing more than the by-product of bitterness and grudges.  Meanwhile, Frank Hannon, guitarist for Tesla, who has no axe to grind with the Van Halens, thinks a bit differently.

"If you are a fan of truly 'live' albums, as I am, and have stated, this album rules!”

Hannon gushes about Eddie’s “guitar tones” but does issue a cryptic review of Roth’s role.  He echoes Hagar’s sentiment although with far less vitriol…

“As for Dave, well, he's included a six-page book with lyrics to read the words he don't sing… and to hear him tell of the spotlight operator in 'Ice Cream Man' is priceless, not to mention all the Japanese BS he rambles.”

We can extrapolate from Hagar’s and Hannon’s observations that Roth is riding the bus too much and/or needs to fix the environmental controls of his sleeping quarters.  Then again, who wouldn’t be the weakest link in a band with three Van Halens?

Van Halen will be touring with Kenny Wayne Shepard. 

New Album
Eddie believes that after the band’s upcoming tour they’ll assemble in the studio to cut another album.   The guitarist says the band has enough material, it’s just a matter of getting everyone together. 

Van Halen’s last studio album, A Different Kind of Truth, dropped in February of 2012.

In the meantime, enjoy remastered reissues of the band’s classic albums Van Halen and 1984.  Those reissues also dropped on the last day of March.  The rest of Van Halen’s catalog with Roth at the helm will also be remastered and reissued.  Look for that batch to come out later this spring.

Thanks to Joe Bielawa for the photo.

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